Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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