The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize