Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
