i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
