I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
