Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
