On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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