and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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