Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
