wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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