Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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