I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i think my mom watched the whole time
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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