two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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