so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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