His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize