My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
