You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
