so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
