I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
