fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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