Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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