my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
