That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
