...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
