Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
