was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
