Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
