I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize