O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
