If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We need a shit load of segways right now
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
