Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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