Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
