At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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