Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
