did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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