Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
So squirting runs in the family.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Sext me about skeletons
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
