12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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