Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
