...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Your penis caused this!
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