THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
