One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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