the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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