Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
