Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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