u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
