last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
