I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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