so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
