Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
