Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
