why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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