tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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