So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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