If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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