Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
