Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
