She said her name was "party"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
