I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
