i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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