Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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