My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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