...so i touched it.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
