I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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