just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
