Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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